Strategies For Living > BLOG ARCHIVE If You Must be Tense, at least be Present Tense/ David McMillian, LPC, LMFT

If You Must be Tense, at least be Present Tense/ David McMillian, LPC, LMFT

Posted by: admin - April 12, 2010

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                                                              Monday April 12, 2010 Column


Dear David,
I read with interest your column last week about stress.You listed some of the possible signs of stress and I hate to say that I have a lot of them.One of the tips you gave was to develop some new ways of thinking and I want to know more about that.Can you give me some ideas about where to start doing that and how I might learn to change my way of thinking permanently?
Skewed Thinking Energizing Worry  

Dear Skewed,
Interestingly, brain scientists tell us that the human mind is capable of over 60,000 thoughts a day, and if given no restriction, more than 90 percent of them are the same ones you had the day before.Reliving the past and worrying about the future repeatedly keeps us stuck in our fears, worries, and frustrations.So one thing we can do immediately is notice what “tense” we’re operating in.Dr. Robert Minniear, a local counselor and colleague of mine says “if you must be tense, at least be present tense.”When your mind drifts off and begins reliving yesterday or planning for tomorrow, bring it back to the present moment.One way you can snap yourself into present tense is to pay attention to what’s around you.Do everything you can to stay in the here and now and practice doing so repeatedly.  
Since spring has arrived, many of us are spending more time outside working in the garden or to get our yards in shape.Have you ever gone out to work “just for a few minutes” and then looked at your watch to realize that you’ve been working for several hours?We can focus on the soil, or the weeds, or the plants and, even though we’re working hard, our minds are relaxing too because we’re so very engaged with the present moment and the task at hand.Try watering your yard or garden, not to get it over with, but instead very focused on the intention to provide life giving nourishment to the living things the water is touching.Watch the water as it flows from the hose in your hand and into the ground soaking deep into the soil.  
Many people can have a similar experience attending a Mudbugs, Battle Wings or Captains game, because a sports event like that is one moment at a time.The great Yogi Berra is quoted as asking “how can you think and hit at the same time?”Have you ever gotten so wrapped up in a game that from the opening pitch to the seventh inning stretch seems to have been just a moment?You could also listen to your favorite music very intentionally focusing on one note at a time.Listening in this way can be enormously relaxing and a great way to practice paying attention.Those are just a few examples that perhaps will start you thinking about other tasks you can do to really focus your attention on the here and now.  
What most often clogs our minds with useless thoughts is the buildup of stress and tension, which we nearly all experience at some point these stress filled days. We can’t change the things going on around us, but we can change how we think and process them inside our own minds. Because we don’t know how to release the mental steam that accumulates over time, many of us end up with high blood pressure, panic attacks, or some other physical problem.The fight or flight mechanism in our bodies are there to serve and protect us, but I think we can easily get stuck in this mode with no way to release or stop the urge to either fight or flee.   Clearing the mind is like exercising your muscles; the more you work it, the stronger it gets.Several years ago, Harvard Medical School published a report stating that simply counting backward can lower a person’s blood pressure and heart rate.The next time you find yourself angry or agitated, begin breathing deeply and counting down from 10 to 1 with each exhale.You’ll notice that you’ll instantly let off some steam and feel more relaxed.If you don’t have time for the countdown, at least stop and take three deep breaths.Practice these simple techniques often, especially when you’re not angry and you’ll notice that when you do become agitated, you’ll quickly be able to redirect your mind and body.The three deep breaths take as little as ten seconds to begin working for you.Even though it takes a little more time, the counting down will remove more layers of stress and tension in less than one minute. I hope these ideas will begin to help you become more much more present and much less tense.If you must be tense, at least be present tense!
                            

                                                                       
                            
                                            

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| | | | Article Posted by: admin